HURDLES
by Late2SGA
Summary: First attempt at fanfiction. Written for a friend - who then challenged me to post it - who wanted a way to put Sheppard and Teyla together without violating canon. Takes place "Season 6". Sheppard, Teyla, some Rodney and a bit of Ronon. Drama/Romance laced with humor.


HURDLES

Summary: First fic ever. Written for a friend (who then challenged me to post it) who wanted a logical, believable way to put Sheppard and Teyla together without violating canon.

Characters: John S. /Teyla E.

Rating: K+

Category: drama/humor

Disclaimer: 'Stargate Atlantis' and its characters are not mine. I would not have placed them under the aegis of those whose interest lay elsewhere.

**~HURDLES~**

_FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND._

"What're you talkin' about?" Teyla shifted Torren against her shoulder. John's restated promise that he would make certain she and Torren got back to Pegasus was not unexpected, but her response had confused him. Three months on Earth and she knew he was uncomfortable. In the Ancestral city John had found his place, his calling, but Atlantis did not belong on Earth-he felt out of place, without purpose. He wanted to make it right, at least for her.

"John, your argument and your focus with the IOA should be the return of Atlantis to Pegasus. Do not concern yourself with my situation; Torren and I are fine. I know you and Mr. Woolsey and General O'Neill are all doing everything you can."

"Well, there's nothin' like the idea of life-sucking space vampires to make a group of cowards turn into a group of quivering cowards." He flashed his grin. "I think they're getting the picture-we'd be better off keeping an eye on the Wraith over in Pegasus than have them show up one day with their hands out. Now that the Chair's operable again and we have a line on a ZPM, they'll maybe release their stranglehold on Atlantis as 'Earth's only defense'." He peered closely at her. "You sure you want to wait? It could be months before the red tape is cut. I can make a special request to O'Neill to have the Daedalus take you home."

Teyla shifted Torren again. Her precious burden was growing every day. John had caught up with her in the hallway on her way to put Torren down for a nap.

"I am home, John." Again she had confused him. And when he did not understand, a trace of anger appeared in his face. "Did you not make the same offer to Ronon and he elected to stay?"

"Ronon has no home, no people. Sateda is gone."

"Like Ronon, Atlantis is my home, my people."

"But..."

"And like you, like Ronon and Rodney, my team is my family." Torren began to snuffle and squirm in her arms. "John, I must go." She turned and left him standing in the hallway, knowing he still did not understand and would not ask.

~SGA~SGA~SGA~

_OPEN SECRET._

"What're you talkin' about?"

The tone was enough to warn Rodney so that he slowed his step and peered around the bend in the corridor. He was looking for Sheppard, but didn't want to see him badly enough to interrupt what was sure to be a tense interchange with Teyla. Sure enough, it looked like a real doozie was brewing. Rodney pulled back around the corner, out of sight, and debated leaving.

"The teams that are re-setting up the network are ready to contact New Athos. I thought, you know, you'd want to let everyone know you're back. See Halling and...everyone."

"Kanaan will not be there, John. He is not of my village. Nor is he part of my life any longer." Rodney peered around the corner again. Sheppard had That Look on his face-confusion with a slight frown. Teyla sighed. "It is complicated."

"Then un-complicate it." Flyboy was understandably tense. Rodney stayed out of sight, but edged closer to the corner.

"John, every world is shaped by the recurring cullings-there is a technological, a biological, and/or a cultural response. We know now that there are technologically advanced peoples who have found a way to hide from the Wraith. When I was young I visited a world with my father where the people were all sickly and died by their thirtieth year, but they were never culled. I suppose the Wraith could not feed sufficiently on such individuals. Most worlds have an obvious cultural response. On Athos we build hunting camps and tent villages that are easily moved. Our villages are never very large. And we..." She paused, then said firmly, "We breed across villages in order to protect blood lines. If an entire village is culled, the family line is not lost."

Rodney wondered if Sheppard wore the Blank Stare or if he had a confused look. Rodney certainly was confused. Over five years and they didn't know this about Athosians? 'Course, how often had the topic of blind dates or one-night stands come up?

"So...you only hook up short-term to have children?"

"No, we marry. It is not a rule, but there is...an 'expectation' among my people. Before settling down with a life mate, before marrying, we are 'expected' to have a child or two by others in other villages. It is tradition. It serves to protect our culture so that whole blood lines are not lost. If an affection has already been formed, naturally such a union for the sake of procreation is not forced. In general we marry and settle down when we already have at least one child, and hope to have others with our chosen mate, if we have time and the Wraith do not come."

You know, it made sense, Rodney considered. As a way to preserve the history and the genetic traits of the various villages.

"Who raised you?"

"A child is usually raised with the blood mother, but not always. My blood mother was from another village. I knew her very little. The woman I called 'mother' was my father's wife. I was the only child of my parents' union."

"So you and Kanaan were sort of...promised to each other?"

"When a child is born there are 'possibilities' determined by those who record our blood lines. The children meet over time, at annual festivals that involve all the villages. If something is ...felt, then it is 'expected' in the future. If there is no liking, then it is not pursued. Later, at a mutually agreed time, the couple has a child. The blood father and mother stay together for a while because it is difficult for a single parent with an infant."

Rodney wouldn't risk looking around the corner, but he bet Sheppard had a frozen look on his face.

Teyla sighed again. "I knew you would not understand. It is not the way of your people. You see having children as the formation of a family." Teyla began again. "It would be similar to being divorced and having a child and the other blood parent has no input in the child's life. Torren is my son. Kanaan is the father-blood father, nothing more. Kanaan came to me because he wanted to settle down, so it was my last chance. He sired a child in another village and he has a life in his own village now with a wife. She has a child by a man from another village."

It made sense. Finally. Rodney mulled it over. Nothing about Kanaan had ever made sense. Nice enough guy, he supposed, but, well, Rodney'd never really thought about it in so many direct thoughts, but Sheppard and Teyla were like, oh, peanut butter and jelly. Make that chocolate and caramel. He didn't exactly expect they'd go buy his-and-hers Ouzis, but he also never thought there'd be anyone else. They just...were. Just like no one ever wanted to interrupt a disagreement between them-it smacked of husband-and-wife. And Kanaan from Out-of-the-Blue, who was mentioned but hardly ever seen because he seemed to have no impact on Teyla's life, just never made sense. Until now. Rodney wished he had a mirror to see around the corner. He eased one eye around the edge, enough to see that Sheppard was gaping like a guppy. Rodney knew he was normally not very astute, but there was more being said than just words. He wondered if Sheppard heard the subtext.

"But...what about...being leader of your people?"

"John." Rodney heard the patient smile in her voice. "I have lived in Atlantis for over five years. Halling has made the day-to-day decisions in my village; he is their leader." Her voice took on a distant quality, then firmed. "Charin told me I was destined for great things. Perhaps she was right-Atlantis is the great hope of this galaxy and all its people. I am a representative of my people, their contribution to the war to defeat the Wraith. I am an Athosian. It is my heritage, who I am, and I will share that with my son. And Atlantis is my home. I will share with my son all that Atlantis has to offer."

There was a long pause, but Rodney didn't think he could risk another glance around the corner. He was surprised in such a public place that no one else had come by...or maybe they were all lurking on the other side of the intersection, listening, too.

Teyla sighed. "I do want, very much, to see Halling and my people again, but I did not want you to think Kanaan was waiting. That is not why I am so eager to visit."

"Uh, right. Yeah. Okay."

"I will meet you at the Gate after I have readied Torren."

"Uh, it's not yet dawn there. Shall we say a couple hours?"

Flyboy sounded like he'd swallowed a sock. Rodney was trying to figure out if he should go forward or back, when Teyla appeared around the corner and halted upon seeing him.

"I, uh, yes, well, it is a public corridor and I wasn't exactly eavesdropping, even if it looks as if I'm lurking here."

Teyla said nothing, just stared at him. As if he'd done something wrong. Hey, it was a public corridor. They shouldn't have their personal conversations in hallways if they didn't want them to be overheard. Which reminded him...

"I know I'm not exactly Mr. Sensitive, but even with the way clear- You and Kanaan were matched up at birth? Doesn't it get complicated at- Ahem, yes, well, anyway, Sheppard's still not going to do anything. He can't."

She'd been around Sheppard too much. She just stared and raised an eyebrow and Rodney felt the same cringe that Sheppard could evoke. Definitely been around Sheppard too much.

"It's a military thing. Non-fraternization. On Earth an officer is not allowed to, uh, mingle with those in his command."

She finally spoke. "We are no longer on Earth and I am not part of your Earth military."

Rodney shook his head in resignation. "It's ingrained in him, from the top of his fuzzy head to his unlaced boots. You know, like 'leave no man behind'. He can't think beyond that. You're off limits, out of bounds, keep off the grass. So, whatever he does feel, it's been suppressed. And then you put another man in the picture. He's trained himself to think of you as 'one of the guys', just another member of his team. He'll never make the first move. He can't." She seemed to consider his words. "Uh, you know he's been married, right? Because that's a hurdle you'll have to get over on your own. I don't know what went wrong, but I'm sure he thinks it was his fault."

~SGA~SGA~SGA~

_HOME._

"What're you talkin' about?"

"Perhaps 'surprise' is not the correct word. May I come in? I wish to speak with you," Teyla continued, and John stepped aside and waved her into his quarters. "Halling asked me to inform you that the wine will be ready the next time you visit and your presence at the Festival is most desired." Teyla had delivered the message, but she had further business of her own.

"Good ol' Halling." John smiled. "And what about Jinto? I swear that kid has grown every time I see him."

"Yes. I believe he will be as tall as Halling one day."

She had planned this. She did not want to have another private conversation in a hallway. John was off duty and both of them were not expected in the mess for another hour. There was time and she did not have Torren-'TJ', as Rodney had begun to call him. The idea of a nickname was strange-a shortening or a term of endearment, but 'Johnny' did not suit John and she was not certain she would like a corruption of her own name.

"What can I do for you?" His tone held polite inquiry.

She could do this. Rodney had elaborated on the reasons for Earth military formality and in his own way, had expressed his understanding that she and John belonged together. She had known John Sheppard for nearly six years and her first impression of him had never wavered-

"Teyla? You wanted to speak with me?" There was uncertainty and growing concern in John's voice.

Ronon also believed she and John would get together. He had known that for whatever reason she was having a child by Kanaan, her connection with him was not an emotional bond. Kanaan had been so frequently away-there was support in Atlantis to care for Torren and so Kanaan's presence had not been vital and Kanaan, himself, had chafed to return to his village.

It was odd that others 'always' had a sense of something that she had not expressly voiced to her inner self...until that visit to New Athos, when Kanaan had come to tell her he wanted to marry. She would not wish away her son, but she wondered if it would be easier, if things would have worked out differently, naturally, if she had not involved Kanaan.

She had felt...alone. They had thought Carson gone forever and they had just lost Elizabeth. Her sadness left her feeling isolated amongst all the Earth people, even with her teammates. Kanaan was familiar, part of her upbringing, and he represented both past and future-a child. She had to make a choice.

Kanaan was her last chance. There had been 'possibilities' with two other men from villages and she had let those opportunities pass because she had concentrated on her role as leader. She had grown up accepting Death, not at the hand of God or Illness, but with the presence of alien ships. The culling of her father changed the passive role in her own life-she would not go quietly. She had the strength and the will to fight.

"Teyla?" John had passed concern and looked worried.

Her belief in John had never wavered-from the first smile when he came into the tent. Then he had come into a hive ship because he would not leave people behind. And even after they had the full understanding of what they were fighting, John and his people continued to fight. She knew John Sheppard. She had known he would find her when Michael took her. She stayed in Atlantis, because she belonged in Atlantis, and it was where she wanted to be-with John. Athosian custom was different, but she knew Rodney was right-it was up to her.

She could do this. "John, I wish to discuss...us."

His face froze and she could imagine the barriers rising, the strength of will necessary to thwart a Queen's interrogation.

She could do this. "I understand the need for formal rules in a civilization as large as Earth, especially among the military. Are you worried about exerting undue influence on a subordinate or compromising the chain of command?" From the narrowing of his eyes he was probably wondering where she had heard the specific terms she used to phrase her question. "John, I am not in your military. This is not Earth." She looked up at him slyly. "And I am not your subordinate." She saw a small movement at the corner of his mouth, but still he said nothing, as if measuring her words, trying to hear the meaning behind them. She looked into his eyes. "Some things belong together. Macaroni and cheese. Spaghetti and meatballs. Fish and chips."

He wore a blank look, then visibly relaxed. "You've been talking to Rodney. Leave it to McKay to describe everything in terms of the mess hall." He smiled as he spoke. "The truth is..." He cleared his throat. "I'm...not very good at relationships."

Did he truly believe that? "I see the way you are with Rodney, with Torren, even Ronon, and all your command. You are a good man. The best man I know."

"Yes, well, I wasn't a good husband. Just ask Nancy."

"Nancy is not here and I do not wish to ask her. I am asking you." He did not know where to start. "Did you love her?"

At first she did not think he would answer, but something in his face changed, as if he had straightened his spine, although he had not moved; it was an inner resolve.

"Yes." Then he smiled, in that way that was unkind to himself. "I'm not sure how much of it had to do with my father, because she was exactly the kind of woman my dad wanted me to marry. He thought she'd get me to quit the Air Force, get a 'real job' in the family business." He had looked into some past memory but returned to the present. "She didn't try to change me, but she didn't know what it would be like. She thought she did..." He looked away again, his voice distant. "It wasn't so much the time away as the secrecy. I'd get a call and leave and she never knew where, or when I'd be back, and if something went wrong, she'd never know the truth." His gaze refocused. "I couldn't talk about anything I did. Made for a lot of silence." That unkind smile again. "She got tired of living with The Invisible Man-I was gone a lot. When I was home, I suppose I wasn't really all there. When I went back for my dad's funeral she told me she had an inkling of what it was like for me, because she's now in the position of having to keep secrets."

She watched him shoulder the memory of failure before she spoke. "I know what it is you do. I know where you go. Do you have to keep secrets from me?"

His gaze never faltered. "Only one."

She could almost see him thinking, adjusting, looking at barriers. What had Rodney called them? Hurdles. His marriage. Military protocol. Kanaan. None of it was as he had believed; the hurdles were not insurmountable. He could do this.

John looked at her so long, as if memorizing her features, then he slowly reached out with his right hand to cup her face and run his thumb along her cheek. "Teyla... Teyla-mine."

Perhaps there was something to this habit of nicknames. "I think I would like to try peanut butter and jelly." She felt his laughter as he pulled her close.

~SGA~SGA~SGA~

_IT'S THE THOUGHT._

Rodney watched as Teyla balanced herself and TJ in her seat while she murmured in Torren's ear, trying to keep him entertained. The kid had been in the Jumper before, but not enough for the experience to lose its novelty.

"Shouldn't he be in a car seat or something?" Rodney realized how silly that sounded when both Sheppard and Teyla looked at him with nearly identical raised eyebrows. "By the way, Happy Anniversary."

"What're you talkin' about?" Sheppard asked.

"Well, maybe it's more my anniversary-when I finally got you two together," Rodney smugly announced, then felt the jarring kick on the back of his seat.

"When we got them together," Ronon asserted.

"Are you two going to take credit for the proposal as well?" Sheppard joked, tapping a few console buttons.

"No, I think I must take credit for that," Teyla responded, still entertaining Torren while monitoring the conversation.

"Okay, kids. Do we have to talk about this now? In fact, do we have to talk about it at all?" Sheppard asked, eyes forward.

"Well, seriously, if I hadn't pointed out that the military code-'Thou Shalt Not Make Advances To A Woman In Thy Command'-doesn't really apply in your case, you guys would still be at Square One," Rodney huffed.

Sheppard made an adjustment to the Jumper heading. "This conversation is over. Besides, there's more to it than that."

"Yes, but I, at least, got you started. So, Happy Anniversary ...to me," Rodney insisted.

"No matter what, McKay, we are not naming this next one after you...unless it's a girl, Meredith." ...


End file.
